Reasoning
by Dajypop
Summary: Orochimaru is faced with a terrible problem at the hands of his secret lover, Jiraiya. "When they were younger" fic, Yaoi, Lime-ish, Mpreg
1. Crashing Down

**AN: This was inspired by two songs; Open Wounds by Skillet and Video Kid by The Birthday Massacre. I was reading a JiraOro fanfic and decided to write about the young Sanin again, this time writing it from a different perspective. This whole story will be from Oro's POV, and it's going to get sad, so grab the tissues. Here we go, first chapter.**

Pairing: JiraOro

Younger ages (around 18/19), yaoi, Mpreg, Orochimaru POV

***************************************************************************

**Chapter One: Crashing Down**

I never expected something like this to happen. I've always known how he was...but I never once thought this far ahead into what it was we did on the side. For a while, now, a few years at least, we have played a sort of...game. In private, away from Sensei and Tsunade, I...will be his 'housewife', and he will be the 'dirty sugar daddy', as he likes to put it. It's some stupid turn-on that incomprehensible pervert has, to think he's older and corrupting the young and talented. I learned everything I know about pleasing someone like this from him...I had never had much interest in it before he snagged me during a mission.

But that is nothing compared to what he's done to me, now. I'd be fine with it, if only he would just admit to what he had done, instead of claiming me to be a whore and saying that I can't keep my legs closed. Well, I suppose I've wasted a good deal of my life being _his_ whore, but that is far from the point. I've done more nasty, strange things with that man than I'd care to count, and he places the entire blame on me.

I didn't want this, I've never wanted this. I had thoughts of it, once, sure, but...I've never _really_wanted it to happen. Jiraiya's just...I guess he's just special. I honestly don't even know how to explain what happened, unless he gave me something to do this to me. I don't know...he _had_ to have done something. It's always Jiraiya's fault that something hideous and awful befalls me. He tend to blame me, my ability to look like a woman and please him better than one, saying that he can't control himself. That sounds like a personal problem.

And he really didn't _have_ to give me whatever it was he did to make me full of a child that I didn't eat. I'm far enough along, now, that I have a very visible lump underneath my robe. The more time I spend perpending the situation, the angrier and more depressed I become. If I was such a low individual that self-harm was okay, I would easily slash my wrists right now to end it. But I am a being far above that, exceeding my peers in a way that is almost unfair. I will not be belittled for taking the easy way out while also being pregnant. The latter is difficult enough, my good name will not be slain like that.

But how to make this light snuff out? I can't possibly eat it if it's my own...that would be a horrible waste of my own digestive tract. Perhaps I could cut it out, chop it up and feed it to Sensei? He'll eat just about anything if you tell him it's pork...

But, no, that is also not the way to deal with this. The best way to do this is to confront the man in question and tell him what he has done, and hope that he knows the right answer.

Sadly, that hadn't worked out very well, either. Perhaps I should talk to sensei about it? That could always result in more denial on Jiraiya's part, and more of the 'F' word from his lips, but...I'd rather be called a fag by the man who impregnated me than be completely alone with a new life, thinking of the life you had before it. I hate to call myself a 'mother', but...I'd hate even more to call myself the mother that hates his child because it ruined his life.

Perhaps there was something I was missing earlier? Something he caught that I hadn't? My senses have been messed up lately, what with this awful infection in my belly. Either way, I can't just sit here and ponder on it any longer. I've made my decision. I will go and talk to sensei, and see if he can help me sort any of this out. I know that, in the end, he will tell me to talk it out with Jiraiya...but I need to just get some things off my chest, first.

It hardly takes me five minutes to trek to his home, knocking softly on the door. His wife opens the door and smiles a little, and I bow my head in respect. It takes an awful lot for her to put up with him, so I have the utmost respect for her.

"Is Sensei home?" I'm never sure what to call her, so I try to be as nice as possible without saying her name. It makes me nervous, sometimes, talking to people.

"I'm right here, Oro. What do you need?" It's nice to hear his voice, a calming voice that I can definitely feel safe with. He's my sensei, what did you expect?

"Can...we talk? It's...important."

"Sure...in or out?"

"....in." He leads the way up to his room and we sit down on the mat. I suck in a deep breath before beginning. "It...has to do with Jiraiya." He gives me a face. "It...it's something that needs a lot of explaining."

"I have all day." He assures with a bright smile and I sigh, nodding a little before starting up.

"It all started when we were fifteen...."

*********************************************************************************

AN: Alright, there's chapter one. This story is going to be kind of sad, actually. I think I already mentioned that, but...it's going to even make me cry, I think.


	2. First

**AN: Okay, so, I started this last night, but my computer lost it. : So. I'm trapped with re-writing it. -pout- Anyway, here we go. Italics mean flashback.**

Pairing: JiraOro

Flashback, yaoi, lime, Orochimaru's POV

******************************************************************************

**Chapter Two: First**

"It all started when we were fifteen..."

_Jiraiya and I were on a mission together, just us, for some reason or another. It's likely that we went by ourselves because he wouldn't have accepted sending the whole team to something so minor. We were in a forest just outside the village, training because Jiraiya insisted that we do something to get the adrenaline and blood flowing. Of course, I declined many times, but soon he got down into a fighting stance, and I knew I had lost already. Not so much won the match, more or less lost the ability to say 'no'._

He knew my stances for defense and how far he could push me before I attacked right back, and he began to throw punches and kicks at me. He always charges me when he wants to spar and I say 'no', to give me no choice. How sweet. Anyway, he began to back me up, right into his trap that I had no clue was awaiting me.

You know how Jiraiya has always been good with knots and rope? That isn't always a good thing, let me tell you. I backed into a rope trap that ended up, somehow, with my wrists and ankles bound, and my torso and arms wrapped up, as well. A cable held me up by the cords wrapped around my stomach and feet, and I stayed there in shock for a moment.

"Jiraiya...what is this?" I asked, incredulous and displeased. He just smirked at me.

"Enough with the superior attitude, Oro-chan. I'm sick of being your subordinate, so I'm going to show you, today, that I'm an equal to you." My eyes grew wide and I wiggled a little. I didn't like this position, nor did I like knowing that he had caught me for something of his own design. I never knew the toad could be so cunning. He never makes it seem that he had a brain in his head...but this was too much an anxiety-filled experience.

"Jiraiya, this is not funny! Let me down immedia--ahh!" In the middle of my _words, he cut the bonds around my ankles and I slipped downward, my body held up by my upper arms and torso. I know he noticed that, after the onsen, I didn't get a chance to put on underwear before he drug me out for 'training'. He stared up my robes and grinned that lecherous grin of his, nearly drooling like a small baby._

I visibly flinch at the word 'baby', and whether Sarutobi-sensei noticed or not, I don't know. Either way, he doesn't react, but when I'm silent for a few moments he makes a hand-gesture for me to continue. I nod slowly, swallow thickly, and start up again.

_He spent a moment or so more staring before he tugged more on my legs to get himself directly between them, spreading them apart a little so he could see better. I thrashed and kicked, but it didn't seem to deter him. He was determined to get an eyeful, probably for his nasty books. He had me wriggling and moving for him, probably just as he wanted, and I finally made a move to be stock still, and that didn't help my cause much, either._

However, it _**did**__ get him to move over to a block of wood seated in the ground by the roots of the tree, and his foot rest lightly on it._

"Do you want down, Oro-chan?" He questioned, head tilting a little as he smirked. I nodded frantically and he pushed down, and I fell. I expected a hard landing on the ground but found it a little too soon; a branch smacked me just above my right nipple, making it harden as I hissed in pain and soon landed in his arms. That muscular chest and those arms held me close, and I felt a soothing hand rubbing against the sore spot. However, to do this, he slipped my robe open and his hand began to get a little frisky.

It brushed my nipple and I gasped, stiffening in his arms. The only problem was that I couldn't move away; he had me trapped as he began to derobe me in his lap. I wiggled and did my best to make it hard on him...but my completely virgin body was reacting in ways I had never imagined, and it was making me crazy. Before I knew it, my body was writhing and pushing _**into**__ his touches, gasping every so often and grinding my teeth to bite back moans._

"You know, Oro-chan, you're allowed to like it...your body is speaking volumes about how you feel about this. Just go ahead and let loose with how you really feel. Let me know about the unimaginable attraction you have to me." He purred into my ear, making me shiver at the velvety smooth quality of his voice. I sucked in a breath and whined a little.

"Ji-jira..." I whispered. "T-the ropes.." I was too far gone to fight back, now. The first few times we actually did those lewd things...I hardly lasted long, and he always had my head spinning before he even got going. It was just the difference between his experience and my own. At the time, I had no interest in touching _myself, let alone another person...he had probably done far more than I had by the age of ten._

His hands felt like fire stinging and tingling down my body, and he had more experience with his mouth--

"Move it forward a little..." My sensei tells me, and I nod slowly.

"S-sorry, Sensei." I offer, licking my lips before folding my hands in my lap.

_After we were both finished with what he had planned, he finally released me and did something I didn't expect. He tilted my head up and kissed me softly, gently, before telling me something I'll never forget._

"Oro-chan...this is between us. Sarutobi-sensei and Tsu-chan can't know about this. Okay? I'll always be yours in private."

The promise sounded fine to me at first...but after I thought more about it, it became a negative. He still was going to keep up his lascivious ways with women, and I had no power to stop it. And, yet, when we were alone, his licentious hands would patrol my body, always changing the paths and yet I could always predict them. He was always so....ready and willing to prove to me that he was what I needed. But together with you or Tsunade or both....we got along just as we did before. 

"So...this continues?"

"It...it does." I nod slowly, sighing. I rub my stomach slowly, feeling an uncomfortable sensation that made my eyebrows knit and my teeth grit.

"Orochimaru?"

"I..." I'm not sure what to say. "I will continue my story, Sarutobi-Sensei, but...I should spoil the ending for you."

"Spoil?"

"I...I am pregnant, sensei." I mutter this slowly, licking my dry lips to wet them again. He stares at me a moment.

"Orochi--"

"I am not lying, or joking." I untuck some of my robe to show the small stomach I have begun to grow. "It is...Jiraiya's, he...gave me something. But...now, he will not own up to what he has done...perhaps I slipped it out in front of Tsunade...I am not sure, but..."

"It hurts?" He finishes for me. I nod.

"How can I be the ultimate being...when I feel this way and I am debating..." A soft sigh, "Destroying my own child."

"That is out of the question." He tells me automatically.

"He clearly does not want it...and I am not sure I could handle a child on my own."

"Then let us have it." That caught me offguard.

"S-sensei...would you honestly...want a child from us?" It may not be the smartest thing he had ever done. It was uncertain what sort of...anything we would produce.

"If it is trained right....then it will be fine." He offers in reply and I nod a little.

"A-alright..." I still didn't want to go through with this.

"Now that that's settled...why don't you continue your story?"

"Well...okay. It didn't become serious until the twenty-seventh of October...my sixteenth birthday..."

*********************************************************************************

AN: There's chapter two for you all. :3 I hope this story is still turning out okay. I'm not so sure what all should happen before he confronts Jiraiya, so the chapters may be a little slow, three or four a week.


	3. Try That Again

**AN: Alright, guys, chapter three. This may or may not be the last one for the week, I'm not sure, yet. I just hope that I can keep the story going, that's all.**

Pairing: JiraOro

Orochimaru POV, Flashbacks, Lime, Yaoi

***********************************************************************

**Chapter Three: Try That Again**

"Well...okay. It didn't become serious until the twenty-seventh of October...my sixteenth birthday..."

"Orochimaru, wait a moment." I glanced up at him with curiosity in my eyes. I knew that was what it was, and I knew exactly what he was going to ask about.  
"Your description of your first time with him...sounded an awful lot like rape." I gulp. I had hoped I wouldn't have to spill the truth, but...this was the only way, it seemed, and I could not continue to glorify myself and make him the bad guy when he had not deserved it at that time. Another heavy sigh and I look down, eyes focusing on my folded hands.

"I...okay. It...did not go quite like that. It went more like..."

_He stood between my legs, looking up with his usual grin plastered on his face._

"So naughty, Oro-chan. Not wearing any underwear when you knew you were going to be alone with me. Is this a hint?" He walked over to the block as he spoke, and he knew I was about to say something to him but I was stopped when he dropped me down. I managed to smack my head as I attempted to flail before he caught me, holding me close and simpering about how I had hit it like it was such a shame.

He held me close and tenderly kissed my head, making me close my eyes and blink a little. He held me close and his hands began to rub into my shoulders and back to relax me, and I felt my eyes growing heavy. My robe was slowly being removed but I did not mind so much...he was doing things I never realized I liked. I suppose more human contact would have been better for me.

Soon, he had my robe completely off, hanging on my bound arms and making my sensitive skin tickle. I let loose a soft chuckle and he smiled a little, those fingers gently prodding my sides and stomach, tickling me further. I laughed for the first time that I can really remember...and I do not think I've ever laughed with someone more than I do with him. He tickled me for a while before his hands _turned sexual._

His hand brushed my nipple on 'accident', and I whimpered a little, hating myself for the strange feeling in my chest. This odd heat had settled in my stomach and I felt my heart speed up. This could not be good for my health, I remember thinking. I looked up at him when he got closer to my hips, and I think he may have seen panic in my eyes as I spoke.

"J-jira...wh-why...?" He began to chuckle nervously and push away slightly, a kunai appearing out of nowhere.

"Eheheh...d-don't worry, Oro-chan. I...it was just a joke. You know, a joke? Haha...uh...here, let's get you out of those ropes." He offered, setting me down on my feet and turning me around so that he could cut me free. The ropes fell to the ground and he began to back pedal, especially when I snagged the knife away from him.

My hair was tousled, and as I rubbed my wrists, I glared at him. I managed to hold my robe shut around my hips, but it was still falling from my shoulders and I looked fairly obviously different than I normally would feel comfortable with. 

"This...this next part...I am...not sure if I am ashamed of how I felt...or just the fact that I did this." I nervously look at my sensei and he gives me a kind smile and the roll of his hand to tell me to continue. I look at him as he does this, and feel my cheeks heat at the memory.

"I...suppose that this is why I lied to you, sensei." I offer softly, staring out the window as I begin again.

_I glared at him hard as I took notice of what he was doing, heading backwards and not paying attention to where he was going._

"I...it was just a joke, Oro-chan, no need for hard feelings-" He started as I began to encroach on him, baring fangs as I pinned him to the tree and made sure to keep my hips away from his, eyes narrowed while I lifted the kunai to his neck. My voice was a hoarse hiss when I spoke.

"Jiraiya, you are an idiot and you do not know what you want. Of course, you pick the time in your 'joke' to pull away when you have me willing." I spat, but he did not seem to recognize my words as I backed away and threw the kunai at his feet, making it stab just before his toes and stick into the ground.

"Oro-chan, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to get so carried away, I just wanted to try to make you feel something other than stoic anger or cynicism for once, and I thought that maybe I could make you feel good. I wanted to be able to-" He paused, now, blinking at me. "W-wait. Willing?" I had my back to him, but now I _turned to the side and let my robe fall open again. His eyes went wide._

I was painfully hard, now, glaring at him as if it were all his fault. Really, though, it was. I stared down at myself, trying to will it away, not exactly sure how to get rid of it. I had never had the need to touch myself before, I always took cold showers, and followed them with warm ones as I went over plans in my head to distract my teenaged mind.

He still stared at me in shock, looking totally unsure of what was going on. I huffed.

"See? Here I am, completely baring myself to you, and you-hey!" He seemed to finally have gotten the hint and walked over, sitting down and tugging me into his lap. We both yelped softly when my 'bony butt' toppled on top of something hard in his pants, and I somehow knew what it was.

"I will help you, then, Oro-chan." He told me, and I nodded. His hands began to play with me and his hot breath moved to my neck. I sat with my knees up over his legs and my back against his chest. "I've always wondered if you taste like powdered sugar..." I furrowed my brows.

"Powdered sugar? How-" But I stopped with a slight moan as my pulse quickened further. I sucked in my breath and shivered a little, teeth gritting. He knew something, or...else this was normal. I never have been up to speed on 'normal' things. He continued to kiss and suck at my neck, making my eyelids flutter and lips part slightly. He tilted my head at one point to the side and captured my lips in a gentle kiss, forcing my eyes to close. He took his time with me, and when I finally hit completion, it was the most amazing experience of my life.

I saw stars and felt like electricity was coursing through my body. But...it was not painful, do not get me wrong. And to have these feelings brought on by Jiraiya...it was something completely unfathomable but extremely important. Once I had regained myself, I turned to look at him. He had shifted us around so that I lay on my back, stomach coated in opaque white with a slightly purple hue, leg up over his shoulder. He pulled himself out of his pants and began to rub and stroke it. I watched for a little bit, his eyes raking over my body, and I couldn't stand it after a few more ups and downs of his hand.

My tongue slowly slipped out of my mouth, snaking down my own body and finding Jiraiya's slit, slowly licking over it and tasting what my partner was like. It was salty-sweet...not entirely unpleasant. His hand continued to move only twice more before he let his hand fall away entirely and I slowly began to sit up.

While sensei looked uncomfortable, he didn't seem ready to stop me. That was weird. However, I went silent, just keeping the rest of the memory in my head.

"The rest...was entirely okay by me. I was willing...and he was, too. It was the first time we had had sex...and my first time for that and a blow job. I knew he had impressive stamina, but...I had no idea it would be like _that_..." I trail off, knowing that even this is probably too much information. I sigh, feeling my cheeks heat up as I close my eyes. "That...that is the real story. He was nowhere near as...bad as I made him seem."

"You just need to learn to swallow your pride, sometimes." That was all I could get out of him, so I let it go.

"May I continue with my birthday, then?" I question, raising a brow slightly and licking my lips again. The more I speak, the more I am unsure I should have done this. He nods, and I suck in a deep, calming breath again before starting.

"Go on ahead." He tells me, and I sigh.

"So, it all started the night I turned sixteen..."

*******************************************************************************

AN: Alright, had to do a little digging with Oro-chan, who didn't want to admit that he liked it with Jirajira. This may answer some questions about why it sounded so much like rape. :3 Also, guys, this week is going to be kind of slow and lame as far as stories go, because it's finals week. I'm a senior, so I'm graduating Friday (the 21st of May), so I'll be free then. Except for this weekend, considering there's all sorts of fun going on. = 3 = I hate this stupidity. Anyway, here's this chapter. It was going to be a bit longer, but I'm having a hard time thinking, it's so hot in the house right now.


End file.
